He’s just mad because he can’t acquire all the apple juice that I’m acquiring. (x)
Best storyteller 2013
Are you telling me that someone made a song out of my original story?? Wow I’m going to be famous this story is my big break
if I had to contact like….my 6th grade self, it would go somewhat like this.
at a restaurant while u high like
"can i order this"
"would you like a soup or a salad?"
"WHATS A SUPER SALAD"
he looks like he just committed an unspeakable crime
okay so these fuckers are the worst cookies they literally drive me insane
because as you may know the definition of insanity is doing the same thing repeatedly while expecting a different result
like when you see these things
you know they’re awful and tasteless but you love how they have a nice texture but they always taste dry and never sweet enough and never satisfying
so you look at these shitty cookies and think “no, I’m going to eat one. maybe this time it’ll be different. maybe it will at least be satisfyingly sweet as a cookie should be”
but every time you just get a mouthful of flour and far too much of that nasty ass frosting
but you keep coming back because someday you hope that these cookies will be as good as you hope they could be
but they never are and you spiral into the lofthouse cookie madness and find yourself nearly gagging on these shitty flavorless cookies every single time a box is set out in front of you
i would have died thinking i was alone thinking a lot of things if i didn’t join tumblr
now i really want a box of these shitty cookies
I will never not reblog this.
god damn these guys are sarcastic fuckers.
90% of the reason i know how to spell neutral is from the milk hotel
remember when everyone wanted to fuck that clock like 2 weeks ago. whered you clockfuckers go. what happened to you disgusting horrible clockfuckers. did you finally fuck your clock
I’ve never related to anything more
college in a 17 second montage
why put cookie dough in the oven when you can put it in your mouth
because I don’t want salmonella….
then don’t eat salmon….